Is it Possible That There is an Advantage to Being Narcissistic?
Is there an Advantage to being Narcissistic?! *And*, that being narcissistic is a stage of life, while having advantages and also great disadvantages, is also a state of life on the way to further development?!
How *dare* I even make such a statement that there indeed might could be advantages for being a self-centered, “me” person?! I know there are now many articles here about narcissists. But here is a different slant on this condition.
Narcissism is a stage on the way to Something Else!
The first stage is where one is the family or local culture. “We” believe this or that. There is little “I”. The next stage is where one begins to Question and to begin to assert one’s own self. So far, there is little knowledge of just what is this self. Often that concept is just to be self centered. This is where narcissistic behavior can enter into one’s life. Me, me, me. Look at Me! A hurricane sucks in all of the moisture and heat available, so to maintain itself. Same with a narcissistic personality. But that person is becoming FREE of the group-think. “I am not you”. Too often, though, this idea goes to “you each and all are fodder my my ego self”. Thus narcissistic characteristics are a step onto a true individuality, but into an over-reaction mode.
There is a heck of a difference, though, between a Self and selfish! At the end of this article I define one trait of a realized self.
Back in the “old days”, or even today, there are people who never Question, never challenge authority. “Sheeples”, someone writes. Examples of this are: The lady who is abused and *never* even tries to get away or to change her life. The gray clerk in a gray office room. I read of an example of this, the man who still lives with his mother at age 40. Every morning she gives to him oatmeal cereal for breakfast. That night when he comes home from his office work she takes the leftover oatmeal and then heats it up again for supper as he loves it so. [she thinks!]
How does a person “get away” from being that gray clerk?! What happens when a person begins to think for oneself? What happens when someone begins to develop a sense of Self and Individuality?
Take an example of a lady cooking a stew. Halfway through the cooking, she tastes it and then finds the stew too bland so she then adds some spices to it. Oops! She added too much! Now *too* spicy! She then must add water, or some other something, to dilute the spices so to balance properly the taste.
So now, this person develops a sense of self and becomes an Individual. However, very often that person will “over-correct” and thus becoming a self-centered narcissist. Note, duly, that if this person did NOT develop this over-correction, the original problem of “I am my family” will remain.
Now take Karl Marx. He writes about “Thesis, anti-thesis, and Synthesis”.
The mother’s boy; Thesis.
The development of a sense of self-worth, self-centered, questioning reality but going into selfishness; anti-thesis.
The integration; synthesis.
The over-correction is a step on the way to synthesis.
The main advantage of being a narcissist is that one has finally developed a Self!
I want my way.
I am now *so* important that everyone must bow to me, me, me! You are only there to be used by me. [close to its Brother, a psychopathic personality!]
Problem is, that many people get “stuck” on being a narcissist. They enjoy being the center of a black hole! Everyone points to, and is in danger of, feeding this self-centered person.
So how can a narcissistic person develop a way of life where the scales are balanced and that he or she can Integrate this over-reaction, to synthesize both extremes into a good healthy life attitude?
Here is what I think. I could begin to see that every single person around me is an Individual and then I, in relating to each person, will value this person *as* an individual. Also, I will respect this individual and then try to “empower” this person further. I will not bulldoze this person with my beliefs. I recognize True Diversity. I will develop empathy and feelings so that I will care for this person’s well-being.
Now, the “arrow” of attention is not now pointing to me. The arrow now points to everyone around me.
Even Jesus said that he does not want slaves or servants, with the people who will join Him in heaven. He wants fellow creative “CEO” types of people. People who are nearly as creative as He is! Servants and slaves never Question, they Obey!